random thoughts on courage

‘COURAGE IS FOUND IN UNLIKELY PLACES.’ J.R.R Tolkien

‘…THE LEVEL TO WHICH WE PROTECT OURSELVES FROM BEING VULNERABLE IS A MEASURE OF OUR FEAR AND DISCONNECTION.’ B. Brown

(courage: bravery, audacity, daring, fearlessness, valor, heroism, determination)

Courage seems to me like a fitting topic for my opening blog as I see a parallel process between starting something new and embarking on a therapeutic journey of self-discovery and growth. This old fashion value, often associated with great pieces of heroic actions seen in movies and literature might not be something easily recognised in our mundane, daily lives. Frodo in ‘The Lord of the Rings’, Maximus in ‘Gladiator’, Jane Eyre, John Snow in ‘Game of Thrones’, just to name a few of my favourites, are watched with awe, jealousy, and an acute awareness of how their stories and victories are distant from our anxious existence.

But this very explicit and fairy tale like type of superhero audacity is only one of many, many ways we can action it. When I contemplate courageous steps I often witness, I am thinking…..

Courage to begin something new without a guarantee that it will work.

Courage to show up.

Courage to see, to hear, to be understood.

Courage to receive.

Courage to fail.

Courage to be great.

Courage to accept imperfection.

Courage to do what is right.

Courage to be vulnerable.

Seeking help takes courage, no doubt. It requires facing our vulnerability and addressing an illusion of self-sufficiency and control. It is admitting that our self needs attention. Therapeutic space is a paradoxical terrain where strength is found in openness, where the willingness to expose one's inner struggles is an act of bravery. Sometimes this courage, that might look more like desperation, comes only when we feel broken and lost.

I am wondering what it requires to take this outwardly simple, yet challenging step. Is courage a feeling? Or is it a decision taken despite this deep sense of inadequacy and dread. Does it appear when all safe options are explored? Or perhaps when we are bored? Or when we cannot avoid it any longer and we must choose to do what we are scared to do because not doing it is not an option?

It might be all those things.

It helps to see clearly what is important, what you want and where you want to get to. You need to know deeply that this move, which often means going through unsettling discomfort and uncertainty, is important. Non-negotiable. It must be worth the risk. We don’t know if we’ll win, heal or succeed but we just have to try nevertheless and hope that our courage will birth change.

Fear seemingly keeps us safe. Maybe at times, yes. Other times it becomes a cage with open doors. Courage is an antidote to fear, not an absence of fear. Not the only one (love is the best antidote to fear), but a significant one.

Courage to become. Courage of becoming.